The second half of Alice in Wonderland, the new film by the Tim Burton machine, is vastly better than the first half. Maybe it’s because the movie’s first hour relies heavily on the Disney source material and comes across as Tim Burton doing Disney instead of Tim Burton doing Alice in Wonderland. But once Burton’s hybrid plot picks up steam, so does the film. The result is a fun PG romp through a Disney classic.
Any time Tim Burton directs a movie, you can expect a few givens. One, roles for Burton-favorites Johnny Depp and the exquisite Helena Bonham Carter. Two, manic landscapes that make your eyes water. Three, one or two moments of majestic filmmaking that just take your breath away. Alice in Wonderland is a recreation of the classic Disney animated cartoon mixed with the Lewis Carroll source material Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass and Burton’s own inescapable imagination. It all works largely because Burton is a master of making zany “safe” and in part because of Mia Wasikowska, who plays the jaded Alice to perfection. The scenery and animation are flawless centerpieces at a table set for all the craziness the movie can handle. In retrospect, its impressive that Burton managed to keep the entire affair PG-appropriate, but Alice is entirely safe for all ages. The amount of violence is minimal and flies by so fast there’s no chance to even absorb it. The movie effectively manages to disguise large chunks of dialogue and introduce dozens of characters without ever slowing up the pace, keeping kids and adults alike engaged.
If you don’t know the story, Alice falls down the rabbit hole and into Wonderland. In this case, it’s Alice’s second trip to Wonderland but her memory of her first trip is a little fuzzy. That’s really all you need to know. Alice meets a lot of characters along the way, including the White Queen played by Anne Hathaway and Depp’s take on The Mad Hatter. Just take it all in. There are a lot of names and a lot of things happening and chances are that at least once during the film, you won’t have a clue what Johnny Depp is actually saying. The plot itself is pretty straightforward. Alice is being recruited to save Wonderland from the Red Queen and pretty much everyone is rooting for her.
The new trend of turning every movie into RealD is more of a distraction to Alice in Wonderland than a bonus. The level of visual detail Burton puts into his film is washed out in 3D and the moments where the 3D effect really shine are few and far between.
You know the feeling you get when you’re showered and freshly wiped and yet the inside of your butt cheeks still feel wet and you irrationally think it might be poop even though it’s probably just moisture? Welcome to Friday B.S. We know exactly how you feel.
I’m barely hanging on to the twitter train. Twitter to me is kind of like a puzzle. I can see the picture on the box and it’s pretty and I want to put it all together, but then I shuffle through the individual pieces and I just can’t figure it out.
I signed up for twitter for the same reason I signed up for facebook. I’m not an entrepreneur, but I am a writer. There’s something to be said for being able to connect with fans of all ages. For entrepreneurs, social networking represents a free way to advertise your wares. All you do is generate a shortened url to a product you are selling, and presto, tweet the link to your followers / post the link to your wall and you’re in business. But for someone in the public eye, it is also a convenient way to extend your reach. You can interact with your fans in short, contained bursts that have a minimal amount of drain on your day to day life but maximum amount of impact on expanding your brand.
But you might have noticed what I didn’t say. I didn’t create my profiles in order to meet new friends. I didn’t create profiles in order to find people from high school that I had long since buried in the graveyard of people I barely remember, whose names spark only the vaguest recollections of times long since passed. I didn’t make a profile so my parents could keep tabs on me, or I could post photo albums from last weekend, or to become a fan of my favorite bands. All of that stuff happens, but it’s ancillary to my intent. And it always has been.
When I first started using twitter, I would post jokes as I thought of them. Then I started to post when I was drunk. Then I discovered the hashmark and started posting things like
Woke up at 1am to I Wanna Dance w/ Somebody blaring and thought ‘What are my roommates doing?’ Wasn’t them. #falselyaccused
Then I realized that since I am a writer, I should be advertising my books. So I started posting links to the sales page, and updating my followers on the writing process, and tweeting every time I wrote a new blog post. Then I started taking random pictures and posting them with a caption (like this morning, the one of the car I parked next to with the trash barrel in the passenger’s seat and some kind of alien glob coating the side mirror). And finally, after all this time, I just tweet about whatever random thing I’m doing at the time.
But here’s what I don’t get. Why do you care? I barely care about the minutiae of my own life.
The latest wrinkle is follower-farming. Essentially, huge lists of followers who will follow you back. It’s a great idea, I guess, if gathering together a huge following is your thing. But what’s the end game?
The only way to find out is to try it. So I gamely signed up to follow 1,000 new accounts, and lo and behold, just 24 hours later, I have whopping 1,000 new followers myself. It worked as promised. But as far as I can tell, the vast, vast majority of the people I’m following don’t post any original tweets. They retweet crap from other people, post advertising links and sometimes just post lists of their own followers. Over and over and over again. Then there are the select few that tweet quotes from famous people. Over and over and over again. What the fuck? Why? Please someone explain it to me. First off, how is that a good use of the tweeters’ time and energy? And second off, really I mean really who is actually reading your tweets with genuine interest?
Let’s forget about social networking as a means of personal expression. If you’re the kind of person that regularly updates your facebook status or tweets about your day – that’s a legitimate use of the tool. Instead, let’s talk about entrepreneurship. My friend, someone I respect greatly, has said more than once that twitter (and facebook) are free means of advertising. But the message is untargeted and gets lost among this vast network of people who aren’t using the social networks for what they were intended for. Am I wrong? If I tweet a link to my book to 1,000 followers, have I succeeded in piquing their interest in my product or my brand? Are my 1,000 followers, themselves ostensibly entrepreneurs, as interested in my product as I am in theirs (if so, hooboy! I’m in trouble.) I really don’t get it. Not only do I not get it, I’m reasonably certain that my advertising attempts through social networking aren’t going to result in book sales except from people who were already inclined to buy my book in the first place.
Despite all this, I really like connecting with people through facebook and twitter. For every five or so friends or followers I have, there is one that I’m glad to be in contact with. For the rest of it though, I just don’t know what to think. The twitter train is moving pretty fast, but I’m not entirely certain that I even need to be on board.
Need some advice on picking this season’s American Idol winner? With the Top 24 debuting tonight, use this handy 5-step guide for divining a winner and be sure to impress your friends.
1) The South Will Rise Again
It’s no secret that contestants from the south seem to last longer than the rest. The voting strength of that region is a documented fact. Check out the hometowns of the past Idol winners: Season 1: Kelly Clarkson
Hometown: Fort Worth, TX Season 2: Ruben Studdard
Hometown: Birmingham, AL Season 3: Fantasia Barino
Hometown: High Point, NC Season 4: Carrie Underwood
Hometown: Muskogee, OK Season 5: Taylor Hicks
Hometown: Birmingham, AL Season 6: Jordin Sparks
Hometown: Glendale, AR Season 7: David Cook
Hometown: Blue Springs, MO Season 8: Kris Allen
Hometown: Jacksonville, AR
To get the inside scoop on this season’s hometown heroes, check out the Season 9 contestants page and that’s almost all you need to know.
2) Don’t Pick a Poseur
You can’t fake it on Idol, and that’s a good thing. While they whittle it down to the Top 12, this is the perfect time to spot the poseurs. One or two always make it through. That’s okay with us. They don’t win in the end. Remember: the winners can sing, the winners can strut, and the winners can take make-up without looking like drag queens – that goes for men and women. (This also applies to contestants who give up on the competition though that one is harder to pin down this early on).
3) Who’s Got the Looks?
Fortunately, Idol is rarely about judging physical appearance and vanity. That’s a good thing. It was inexplicable that Taylor Hicks beat out Katharine McPhee’s breasts, but there is a lesson to take with you. Contestants can (and do, if they make it far enough) get make-overs for the show. Voters are extremely forgiving when contestants have some, shall we say, less than pretty features. So cheer up Tyler Grady and Lilly Scott, you still have a chance. Being a frontrunner on the show is about being relatable too. That’s why being fat doesn’t count against you. I have no idea what the contestants are going to do with yellow teeth, but I guess we’ll see.
It works the other way too. Don’t let a hot crotch shot or big boobs convince you into thinking you have found your winner. A nice chest isn’t enough on its own in this competition to do any serious winning.
4) Squash the Believers
If a contestant, particularly at this point in the competition, spends on a lot of screen time talking about religion or their personal beliefs, run for the hills. Idol has never been a good soapbox for preachy contestants. Any time a contestant starts pushing really strong values on the audience, they lose the audience. Idol is all about mass appeal, and by bringing God up too often (or singing a overly religious song in the name of pop music, I’m looking at you Mandisa) you corner yourself into a niche market.
Nobody questions the value of being a moral person, but save the preaching for when you’re famous and people think you walk on water.
5) The Judges Have It
When all else fails to pick a winner, listen to the judges. Their influence on audience voting is at once the most obvious and the most understated aspect of the Idol competition. Even in the Top 24, it’s worth giving the judges their air time and using that to your advantage to pick a winner. Also don’t forget that contestants who talk back to the judges almost always get the axe from the voters. When you disrespect the judges, you disrespect the audience and it’s an easy rule for contestants to forget. So keep an eye on how contestants interact with the judges.
Ready to take out your notepad and jot down notes on the Top 24? Keep these guidelines handy and you’ll be able to spot a winner before you can say Top 12.
Giveaways make people feel like they are getting more bang for their purchase. It’s a way to offer an incentive to the customer to purchase your book, and reward those who were probably going to purchase it anyway.
As a writer, my primary product is storytelling. I can dabble in videos like this jokey one we filmed in the snow
and sell promotional posters like this but let’s face it, those things are not my primary focus. Since I am an author first and foremost, my product is a book. The best giveaways to promote what I do are going to be books.
Of course economically, giving way books isn’t always going to make sense. But there are other ways to give out your writing. In part one, I talked about maintaining a blog that offered free material. Another idea is to offer a free download of a complete story. It can be a short story, a e-book novella or a full-length novel. The idea is to reward people for purchasing the book.
Here’s one way it can work. If you sell the books yourself, send out a download link (zip files and pdf documents are the standard for book downloads) to your buyers. They save the files to their computer and read them at their leisure. It’s definitely not as sophisticated as a book reader like the kindle but your customers will still recognize it as a value-added component of the sale.
Another way is to ask them to e-mail their purchase receipt to an e-mail address you own. You set up the autoresponder to send them back an automated message which includes the ebook link to download. Whether they choose to participate is up to them, but it offers your customers a reward for their loyalty. And the workload on your part is manageable. (If your e-mail skills are subpar you could respond to each e-mail individually).
One caveat to all of this: Whatever you offer electronically, whether it’s hosted on a website, or included in a download, you have to assume it could be shared around the world. There is just no realistic expectation of keeping people from sharing it. And why would you want to?
One simple and effective way to promote yourself is to offer a free sample of your writing. Excerpts are not only easy to put together, but your more avid readers expect to see one.
Amazon does book previews once your title is available for sale, but you can also do it yourself. If you aren’t familiar with the technical aspects of creating .pdf documents, you might want to talk to someone who is (you can always use the contact form to e-mail me and I’ll do my best to help). However, generally speaking, your digital sample needs to have:
1) An introduction page that clearly states the book title, the author’s name and contact information on how to purchase the book.
3) A 7-10 page sample from your work
2) A concluding page that restates how to buy the book
It’s best to use the professional design that you using in the book’s interior instead of just formatting your excerpt in a Microsoft Word document. The consistent look helps your reader make the connections between the excerpt and the title. Of course, this depends on whether you have access to your book’s files. Once you have your sample put together, you can then link to the digital download from your website and let people know it’s available.
Hopefully, people will get a sense of your writing style and what might be in the book – and intrigued enough to buy it. Want to see what an excerpt might look like? You can download one by clicking on this link. Note, most computers today can unzip a file even if you don’t use specific zip software.
An excerpt isn’t the only way though. You can also create a webpage with the specific intention of writing in the style similar to what is in your book. For instance, idontdozombies.com is a “blog-like” fiction tale that actually takes place between two books. In this case, the blog helps bridge the gap between the original title and its sequel and keep your fans interested and invested while you are crafting your next book. It also gives potential new readers a chance to experience your writing without spending any money.
Finally, another idea that might make sense for you is to give away an entire book. You will need to figure out if it’s a cost effective way to advertise and if you have the resources to distribute the free books. People always appreciate something free, but what are you getting in return? Did they sign up for your mailing list? Did they agree to fill out a survey? Will they buy your next book? A lot of new authors can’t afford to give away their books. It is simply not a viable business plan. However, if you are creative enough, maybe you can find away to give away a book and get something in return.
It sounds irresistible in theory. A completely free marketing campaign that reaches potentially millions of prospective customers. But how do you know if it works? (Click here for part one or part two of this article)
There are some obvious answers. 1) It works if your friends forward your message to other friends and their friends forward it on to people who you would never reach otherwise. For instance, the best viral videos get 100,000 hits or more, usually within the first few days. 2) If you have a subscriber-based service (like a podcast or mailing list) you can measure success in the increase in subscribers that you gain and keep. 3) The most obvious of all: did you see a spike in sales?
Depending on how technology-savvy you are, you can gather a lot of hard data on the success of your campaign. You can track the number of times an e-mail was forwarded. You can google search for your campaign keywords and see how many results pages come up related to your viral campaign. You can use some facebook metrics to track the popularity of your fan page. You can use twitter search to look at the trends for your particular keywords (by the way, trend tracking is available even if your keywords aren’t appearing a lot – they do not have to be in the top ten most popular trending topics for you to track them). In addition to that, your website can have a hit counter, google has its own analytic package, and you may be able to track clicks through any of the social networking tools you end up using.
Here’s a strong caveat: if you have to beg your friends to help viral your message, then you already don’t have a strong campaign message. It doesn’t hurt to ask them to spread the message along, but the true success of viral marketing is to get other people to do the work for you. Remember, what you have at its core is a word of mouth campaign. The success of your campaign is grounded in your ability to create a message that people want to share on your behalf. You are capitalizing on a culture of endorsement for your product. Whether you achieve that through humor or creating a thought-provoking message or some other catch that makes your pitch shine, it is really the power of your message that propels it to viral stardom. But the vehicle that takes you there is other people’s interest.
__ Writer’s Income is a weekly blog that covers all aspects of writing for publication. Topics include writing, publishing, and marketing with an emphasis on doing all the work yourself.
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