SmartReMarxcom

All of us like to think that we are completely independent people, not caring what others and the world at large think of us. That is, though, a pipe dream and in the real world we want to know what others think of us, how important we are perceived as being. So, despite the quintessential vanity of the act, many of us decide to try to measure those qualities: we ‘net stalk ourselves from time to time. Through Google, we can see how we rank in the cosmic order of things and, more importantly, whether we have become more or less popular over time compared to those with whom we share our name.

A quick search on my name (first and last, without quotes) on Google reveals 2,800,000 references. A quick perusal of the first 50 pages reveals 15 links that I am quite certain refer to me, with three links listed on the first three pages alone. Four of the 15 are mistaken references to me based on outdated information from previous jobs (which explains why I keep getting emails that shouldn’t be directed to me). Two are references to my personal website and one more links to this site. Two links show comments I’ve made on articles on another website. One quotes me in a newspaper article. Frankly, most of the references are entirely trivial in nature.

But still, I judge something of my worth by just knowing that they are out there. Google makes me famous! Of course, the astrophysicist by the same name is clearly much more famous to judge by the number of references to him, but it’s a good start. I try to be philosophical about the fact that there was a time when I showed up on the first page of hits; then again, for awhile I was relegated to page 8. In the regular ebb and flow of things, this time around I seem to have a leg up.

In the end, we all just want to know ourselves better, to understand ourselves better. We want to see ourselves how others see us. There’s nothing wrong with that impulse, as vain as it might seem. I’m just glad my google search doesn’t come up blank — that would mean they don’t see me at all.