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RSSWedding Tales: Ceremony
Feb 25
Relationships Catholic, Weddings Comments Off
My morning task the day of the wedding was to get the groom dressed. Well, to push him along. He showed up in our hotel room forty-five minutes later than we expected and I practically pushed him into the shower. Ultimately, and he agreed in hindsight, by getting done ahead of schedule, he had time to finish his speech, micro-manage some more, eat lunch and relax a little bit. The bride on the other hand, was late for her hair appointment and came back frazzled and rushed to get into her gown.
The groom and groomsmen were ready to go around noon with about two hours to spare. I immediately went back to bed, in my tuxedo and lay dormant until it was time to leave the hotel. I was given the keys to the Durango (8 passenger) and carted four Ukrainians and three Spanish bridesmaids to the Church. Having already done the drive the night before for the rehearsal, I was no longer intimidated by this stretch of Long Island.
The Wedding Ceremony
It was a Catholic wedding in the Filipino traditions. An entirely pleasant hour spent among friends and Jesus. The ceremony went more or less the way it was supposed to. The deacon did his thing, though I tuned most of it out, and another friend of ours, Sherman (who doubled as the wedded couple’s driver after the ceremony) read a prepared religious passage from the pulpit. It was all very pleasant and warm.
For those who aren’t familiar with the Filipino wedding tradition, it involves lighting candles, wrapping a veil around the bride and groom and then knotting them together with a rosary. They also exchange coins (a precursor to the joint bank account apparently) and, of course, traditional Catholic wedding vows. The wedding party was huge. It included three bridesmaids, three groomsmen, a best man, a matron of honor, the parents and the principle and secondary sponsors. The latter, as I understand, evolved from members of the community who essentially offered to support the couple in their earliest days of marriage by making large donations to the marital coffers. I don’t know if there is an actual exchange of money in the modern interpretation, or if the role is more symbolic at this point.
The wedded couple, towards the end of the ceremony, also went around and kissed and hugged each member of the wedding party. I don’t know if that tradition belonged to the Catholic or the Filipino culture. I kind of liked that part. It sort of gave it this ‘dude this is real!’ moment for me. Like meeting a superstar and being able to shake their hand or something. You mean you are a real person, and not just in my television screen? (I said those exact words to Sarah Michelle Geller and Freddie Prinze Jr. when they came to rent videos at the Blockbuster Video in Sherman Oaks. The girl behind the counter had them sign an amaray which is kind of like going to the White House and asking to cut a piece of the carpet for your souvenir.)
Both the processional and the recessional had more of a mad-dash quality than a deliberate and rhythmic pattern. As one of the groomsmen, I can tell you straight up if there was music playing to pace our speed, I never heard it. I let my partner pace us anyway. I wasn’t going to pretend I knew more than a bridesmaid about the correct pace of walking down the aisle.
There was this flurry of exit, then a flurry of pictures. Sure, the bride and groom never had a shot of them getting into the car and driving away (mostly because the crowd of guests refused to cooperate with the photographer and became more of a wall than a door.) I hear Sherman, who was ready to drive them off to blissful marriage in the Cadillac after the wedding, grumbling under his breath.
They overturned the church in about ten minutes for a 4pm mass. It was a slick operation.
