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So lately, I have unveiled a whole new dynamic in my relationship with talk radio, newspaper editorials and Nancy Grace. I just agree with whatever the last person said. And it’s not just me being complacent or lazy, I literally think to myself, “Wow, that argument makes so much sense, I can’t believe I didn’t already come to that conclusion myself.” Then I agree with that particular argument pretty much until…someone counters it with the opposing argument.

I’ll give you a topical example. Brett Favre reportedly text messaged the Green Bay Packers general manager for a unretirement pow wow. It hit the news because of course, the Packers have little else to generate press these days than Favre waffling between Mississippi retirement and Wisconsin gunslinging. (Also, reportedly, Favre was rebuffed because, you know, ego.)

So I was totally ready to rip Favre just on the possibility that he’s thinking about unretirement. It’s unfair to the Packers. It’s unfair to Aaron Rodgers who has never played outside Favre’s shadow (and may never, whether Favre unretires or not.) Just how many retirement parties are teams supposed to throw you before it’s over and over? (I’m looking at you, Seau!)

But then I read an ESPN.com article by Gene Wojciechowski and I completely flipped sides. You can read it here, but I’ll highlight the part that really stuck with me. How many teams would be better off with Favre than their current starting quarterback? And how many times did we let Michael Jordan unretire?

Wojciechowski is a terminally sympathetic writer, even when he’s raking someone over the coals. He mostly defends Favre’s return and on a dime, I’m back in Favre’s corner.

You might, if you knew me well enough, suppose that this isn’t a good example because I’m a hardcore Brett Favre devotee and of course, I’m going to adopt whichever argument increases his God-like reputation for the rest of time. (That would be, in order, another Super Bowl ring, curing cancer and center square on the All New Hollywood Squares.) When it comes to ranking my fandom for football teams, the Green Bay Packers with Brett Favre rank just below the New England Patriots (unless they are facing each other, in which case I take out my voodoo doll of Lambeau Field and start poking pencil-sized holes in the grass.) When it comes to ranking my fandom for football teams, the Green Bay Packers without Brett Favre…well, I haven’t seen that team in action yet, but I suspect the team will be ranked somewhere between the Atlanta Falcons and the Philadelphia Soul.

Of course, now that I agree with whatever I just heard, I find myself nodding to Nancy Grace’s sage wisdom, or thinking that Chris Broussard just made an excellent point. When I click through editorials online, I realize that I adopt whatever opinion I just happen to have read. I read that Britney Spears is ready for a come back? I totally agree. Someone else writes that she’s washed up white trash and a bad mother? I totally agree (and come on, where is her publicist in the last two years?)

I have a theory about Britney while we’re on the topic. I think Madonna stole her soul when they kissed at the VMA’s. Sucked it right out of her body while we were watching. How else does Madonna stay that youthful?

Talk radio practically makes me schizophrenic. Mike Felger will rip Dice-K and I’ll agree with him completely. A caller will come on and defend Dice-K and I’ll agree with him completely. Felger will call the caller a douche bag (well, not in so many words) and restate the exact opposite opinion, and I will agree with Felger again. My head is spinning back and forth faster than Gollum and Sméagol.

What doesn’t seem to matter is whether the opinions stated are actually compelling arguments. That, at least, seems to be besides the point. Wojciechowski made a pretty good case for giving Favre a break, but Felger just likes to argue and I can’t even explain Nancy Grace. But somehow, they, and all the other media folk who get paid to have an opinion, manage to convince me they are in the right. Every time. Whatever I really think is so completely submerged by the opinions of the professionals, that there becomes no discernable difference between my opinion and theirs. And that lasts just as long as someone else doesn’t come along to convince me otherwise.

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