SmartReMarxcom

Following up on a comment made on yesterday’s iPhone review, SmartReMarxcom has learned that the Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts has opened the door to nuptials between a man and his iPhone. This is the most significant ruling of its kind since the Goodridge decision in 2003 legalized marriage for same-sex couples in the state.

In an interview with the man, who wishes to remain anonymous for fear of ridicule, he told SmartReMarxcom that a marriage with his iPhone seemed the only sensible course of action. “I want to stay with my iPhone 3G forever. We have a bond so strong that nothing can break it!” He later admitted that though their relationship has been a whirlwind romance of only a week, both he and the iPhone knew that marriage was the right choice for them.

The reactions of his friends and family have been mixed. His mother expressed relief. “At least he is finally out of the basement.” A friend, though, worried that his relationship with iPhone 3G may not last. “What’s going to happen next year or the year after when a new model comes out? He already discarded his first-generation iPhone as soon as he saw this one.”

A traditional marriage advocacy group, Massachusetts Family Protection Center, issued a statement immediately condemning the SJC’s announcement. “This ruling confirms what we have long feared: a marriage free-for-all. It’s bad enough that Massachusetts allows gays to marry, but now our once great state will become a haven for geeks, nerds, and their electronic love affairs.”

A spokesman for Apple Inc. had no comment other than to wish the couple happiness and offer them 3 years of AppleCare at a discounted rate.