RSSAsk Daily: Gay Marriage and Swingin’ Singles
Nov 24
Society and Culture Gay, gay marriage Comments Off
Question: What is really behind the push to ban gay marriage?
Answer: Dear Gentle Reader,
An excellent question and elegantly phrased. Many would have asked “who” rather than “what,” but I think you have, in fact, hit the nail on the head. To answer your question, jealousy is behind the push to ban gay marriage. Basically, they see me, they hatin’ on me because my lifestyle is fabulous.
I have a spacious, well-decorated apartment, a new car, two flat screen TVs and a Masters degree I didn’t go into debt for. I can eat out pretty much whenever I want, and when I don’t eat out, I can afford to buy name brand and even organic foods. I have leisure time and I can jet off for a weekend’s escapade on a whim. If I shop at a discount store, it’s because I want to, not have to.
Now, those who oppose my right to get married basically fall into one group (which is why I’m assuming you didn’t ask who): crazy, right-wing, psycho-religious fundies. If you’re wondering how I define that term, you might be a crazy, right-wing, psychoreligious fundy if you can quote any section of the Christian Bible chapter and verse. These people are generally not allowed by their beliefs to use birth control, not that they would be responsible enough to in any case. So where does the money go and why can’t they afford a lifestyle like mine? To all those dozens and dozens of children they each have, of course. They must feed, clothe, and buy ridiculous toys for them, while I remain unencumbered. (By the way, the reason the same people also don’t want us to adopt is that they are afraid that if we get the tax deductions for having children, too, then their welfare check will go down.)
Well, that and the fear of all the wild buttsex. The women are afraid their men will want it and the men are afraid their women will want to turn the tables on them!
Until next time!
