RSSI’ll have a SKVL with a smile, thanks.
Nov 19
Why Starbucks Sucks Coffee, Starbucks Comments Off
I’m a Starbucks loyalist. Recently, however, I’ve come to absolutely loathe the place. For the last few years their customer service and the quality of their drinks have been rapidly going downhill. I took for granted the days when you could only find a Starbucks in the city, when your Barista was a scene kid who reminded you of Ethan Hawke circa his Reality Bites days, when the drinks were made well, and when the pastry case wasn’t full of what seem to be plasticized breakfast sandwiches. But, alas, the Starbucks Empire has expanded too quickly. In their efforts to appeal to the masses instead of the java elite, they’ve quickly turned off their devotees. Former Starbucks loyalists now prefer local coffee shops or, if they’re lucky enough to have one on their daily route, a Peet’s.
I pass six coffee shops and two convenience stores on my way to work in the morning (2.2 miles and 10 minutes, according to Google Maps) -- two Dunkin’ Donuts, two Starbucks, a Peet’s, a local café, a 7-11 and an independent market. Yet, despite my recent revelation that Starbucks sucks, I risk a potential nervous breakdown and head to Starbucks on my way into the office every single day (and, admittedly, sometimes once in the afternoon). Unlike many Starbucks haters, I don’t necessarily care how corporate they’ve become since the early Seattle days- I’m not about sticking it to the man, man. But, in a semi-related mentality, I think Starbucks sucks primarily as a result of their opening a gazillion stores over the last few years, and the resulting necessity to hire every Tom, Dick and Harry who wants health insurance after a 20 hour work week. I simply do not have patience for people who aren’t professional, who aren’t competent, and who don’t take their job seriously- even if you’re only making lattes. Those three things lead to a dirty store, a long wait, a crappy $5 drink, and in my case, a high level of anxiety before 8am.
I was a Starbucks barista. I know the rules, the standards, the expectations, and the recipes, and I know that it is up to the Baristas to make sure the aforementioned are carried out. Why aren’t they, then, you ask? Have Baristas forgotten what is expected of them? Are Baristas not properly trained? Nope. There is quite a lengthy training process one must endure to be handed the green apron that is bestowed upon a Starbucks Barista. There are workbooks, workshops, coffee tastings, tests — I think I worked there for three months before I was allowed to actually touch the coffee. A Barista is so brainwashed by the end of the training process that it is impossible for one to forget to make eye contact with a customer whilst taking an order, to smile at someone approaching the bar, to mark a cup properly, to steam milk to the appropriate temperature, to call drinks instead of just shoving them on a counter, and to say “have a great day!” when a customer leaves. Perhaps if I hadn’t donned the green apron I wouldn’t be so bothered by the decline of the modern Barista. But even so, my recent metro-Boston experiences are definitely less enjoyable than they were ten years ago in greater New Haven.
…And despite this rant, I am actually going to head out to Starbucks right now, because all of this talk has given me a craving for a triple grande skinny vanilla latte.
