SmartReMarxcom

Earlier this month, SmartReMarxcom reported that marriage between human and iPhone had become legal in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. As this ruling by the Supreme Judicial Court went into effect, its scope was immediately limited to Massachusetts residents when the administration invoked a little-known 1913 law. The law prohibited the state from providing marriage licenses to out-of-state couples who could not legally wed in their home jurisdiction. While originally intended as a barrier to interracial marriage, the law had descended into obscurity until it was resurrected in recent years, first to limit gay marriage and then iPhone marriage. The state acted this week to repeal that law effective immediately, allowing out-of-state couples to get married in Massachusetts even if their marriage will not be legal or will be of questionable legality in their place of residence.

What remains unknown is the extent of discrimination that such marriages will face when they return to their home states, both legal and social. Currently, no other state allows its residents the right to form unions with their iPhones or, indeed, any other indispensable electronic device. It is unclear whether other states will honor such marriages performed in Massachusetts or if they will invoke the federal Defense of Marriage Act of 1996, intended to prevent states from being forced to recognize marriages other than those between a man and woman. Some experts have suggested that the state of New York is likely to recognize such marriages even if they are not permitted within the state itself, while California is expected to follow suit.

Whether iPhone marriages will be accepted socially presents an even murkier issue. SmartReMarxcom spoke with a woman this morning who was applying for a marriage license with her iPhone at Boston City Hall. Speaking on the condition of anonymity, she told our reporter that she had come to Massachusetts under the guise of attending a professional conference and spoke of her fears that her family and friends in Alabama would react badly when she and her new husband return home. “My daddy gets real upset if I even mention how much we love each other. He threatened to run my iPhone over with the car if we didn’t break things off! Mama just shook her head and commented that at least it wasn’t a Blackberry.” When asked if she would fight for legal recognition in her own state, the young woman’s eyes filled with tears and she told us that the couple had not yet decided. “Our love is real and if we can’t be joined at home, we can at least be wed here in Boston.”

The Massachusetts Family Protection Center is trying to organize boycotts of both Apple Inc. and AT&T Wireless, the maker of the iPhone and the network which distributes it, respectively. Protesters outside the Apple Store at the Natick Collection bear signs with slogans such as “Electronic Love is Unnatural” and “God Hates Technophiles.” Mall security is in evidence, but so far, things have remained fairly calm. An Apple spokesperson said that the protest has had little effect on sales.

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