RSSAsk Daily: How Was Your Thanksgiving?
Dec 01
Society and Culture Comments Off
Question: How was your Thanksgiving?
Answer: The first few minutes of Thanksgiving Day found me at a bar in downtown New Haven. More specifically, in the bathroom, holding my high school best friend’s hair while she rid herself of many a pint of Magner’s and a few red-headed sluts. I emerged from the bathroom with freshly washed hands and, after having done my friendly duty, I was ready for another pint. To my surprise, I had missed last call (at 12:40am). Bars apparently close at 1am on weekdays in New Haven, and cabs cannot be hailed, but must be called… and there is an hour wait. (I had had my father drop me off at the bar, because after having gone this long without a DUI, why get one now?) After a ride home from a stranger because I was not about to stand on a New Haven street corner for an hour, a late night visit to an ex-boyfriend, and three hours of sleep, I met my mother in her kitchen at 8am with a vicious hangover to peel some potatoes and polish some silver.
My parents hosted Thanksgiving dinner. To my mother’s chagrin, my uncle, a formerly bankrupt recovering alcoholic and cokehead, brought his ex-fiancé (now downgraded to girlfriend), whom we haven’t seen in about a year, to dinner. My mother made a delicious and beautiful meal and my father had generously bought a few bottles of my favorite Albariño. After dinner my uncle’s girlfriend decided to ask about my latest not-so-recent breakup, which is still a very sore subject. Now, I’ve never particularly enjoyed this woman- she’s kind of trashy, she’s kind of a bitch, and, while she and my uncle were broken up, all he spoke of her was what an easy lay she was- which is now the only mental picture I have of her. I simply told her that C and I had broken up, and left it at that. After her digging and prodding as to why, and after I’d downed another glass of wine, I said “Yep. He was an asshole. He was a suicidal drug addict who was abusive yet took me to court. Are we finished?” Girlfriend fell silent, and I took that as my cue to turn my Banana Republic wearing back on her Kmart-ladies-department-flyer-inspired self.
Friday night might have been my high school reunion… perhaps I didn’t get the memo? I had come down with a severe case of cabin fever after having spent 36 hours in a house with my parents, whose conversations all revolved around how they disagree with my political views, how I should be contributing more to my retirement fund, how I should be spending more time at the gym and less time drinking, and why they think I don’t have a boyfriend. I called a few friends (http://www.thebadapplesarebitter.com) who were meeting up at a margarita bar a town away, made my way through the holiday DUI checkpoint, and walked into the EHHS classes of ’98-’04 reunion. I spotted a few guys who had gotten to know me pretty well in the backs of cars, a couple of girls who I’d had bitch fights with at the age of 17, and an ex-boyfriend’s “bro” who later intentionally bumped into me so hard that I spilled half of my Long Island Iced Tea on the floor. It was great catching up with my actual friends, though, since I only get to see them a few times a year, and it was a nice surprise to run into and catch up with a middle/high school friend whom I adore but had lost touch with.
I was pretty ready to head home this morning- after ridiculous amounts of food, booze, and little sleep, I felt like crap and wanted to be in my own apartment. I packed my bags, pulled on some leggings, a hoodie, and my pink wellies, and headed out into the snow for the ride to Boston. En route, I stopped for some coffee at our neighborhood Dunkin Donuts, and standing in line was my high school boyfriend- a gorgeous hockey player who, at the time, drove a Camaro, had big muscles, sparkling teeth, and amazing dimples. As I am no longer the 110lb blond cheerleader I used to be, and because I would not let our first run-in in 7 years have me in leggings and a hoodie, I made sure to stay out of his line of vision.
God apologized for some of the not so fabulous events of the weekend by somehow clearing all traffic on I-91, I-84 and the Mass Pike this morning, by calling away all state troopers, and by letting the weather hold up, allowing me to drive between 65 and 85 in the left lane for 150 miles and get home in about two hours, despite the reports of heavy traffic today. All in all, it was a great weekend- I love my parents and adore my friends, and while this weekend was a bit tiring and a tad aggravating- I can’t wait to do it all again in a few weeks when Christmas comes.
