Jul 16
AndrewTelevision Television
I turned on the TV at an earlier than usual time for me of 5:20 a.m. to an scene of a young man telling his father “If me kissing a man disgusts you…” Dad then says, I’m sure I got this right, “I didn’t ask for a gay son. But I have one.” I think I’m supposed to be touched, but I’m mildly offended. The son, Jack as it turns out, falls into the corner weeping while his dad lovingly embraces him.
Is Jack wearing eyeliner?
It turns out, inexplicably, that the show is Dawson’s Creek and it’s clearly some season finale because Pacey and Joey cruise off into the sunset, literally. (Season 3 if you’re keeping track.)
There’s not a ton of choice at this hour. I flipped to a Bowflex infomercial where seven buffed up guys and girls were standing around the Bowflex admiring the abs of the guy demonstrating exercises. The ad gives me the same creepy feeling that I get from ads for Swingtown on CBS. It’s a my-parents-are-getting-dirty kind of dirty.
Infomercials as a general rule, have infinite appeal and a unique ability to suck away the hours. I don’t buy anything; I rarely see a product that calls out to me. But the demonstrations; that is another story altogether. Just like I am fascinated that people don’t take advantage of online access to their bank accounts, I don’t understand what kind of mentality you have to have to shop for things from your television. I’m the wrong demographic, which I’m sure is a huge part of the misunderstanding.
I watch that same damn woman turn soup into an omelet almost once a week (somehow, it’s always the damn soup she’s making when I stumble on to that one.) I don’t know what the product is called and I can’t imagine wanting to eat soup with a fork and knife like a steak. But watching her make it, that’s the money shot right there.
ESPN, my usual morning report, always has the retread news from the night before. Normally, I can just watch commercials for ESPN and be fully satisfied like after a fine breakfast at IHOP, but this is All-star week. No baseball, no football, no basketball and Tiger Woods is injured, not a great sports week. I love the Brett Favre drama, but you can only play the angle so many times before it ceases to be newsworthy. That leaves the endless homage to Yankee Stadium, which less face it, nobody is making the same fuss over Shea Stadium, except maybe the state of New Jersey.
I went to Flushing, NY to see Shea Stadium, and I can tell you, it’s time. RIP Shea.
It’s now twenty-five minutes later, and I just gave up. Dawson’s Creek ended and was replaced by an unwatchable sitcom. Maybe a early morning spot on TBS is considered prime time for an off-the-air teen drama like Dawson’s. It’s not like there is a ton of competition drawing away viewers (viewer?) Instead I went online to watch Dr. Horrible to see what all the fuss is about. It’s typical Whedon.
Tomorrow, I’ll just try to get the extra 25 minutes of sleep.
Jul 08
AndrewTelevision Game show
So I’m not addicted to the new version of American Gladiators on NBC.
Okay, while I am not addicted, I will admit that there is a small part of me that gets a small thrill on Monday nights in between innings of the Sox game. I switch over to NBC and catch snippets of the show in all its frenzied, Super Mario-like glory. A battalion of muscle-bound warriors with names like Steel and Rocket, taking on the little guy in gladiatorial competition that are reminiscent of games you would play with couch cushions.
I will admit, I get a little excited in my pants when I see the gladiator introductions. There’s Hurricane, who looks like he was caught on BoySpyCamcom doing a strip tease. And Phoenix, whose montage includes strap-on black wings. My favorite has to be Crush, she can squeeze my loins any day.
Okay, so Titan is more than a little gay. His routine of flexing his thigh muscles before an event is a little suspect. At least Justice ripples his enormous breasts like the waves of the ocean crashing against the rocky shore. That’s the hallmark of a real man. And Helga? Words cannot describe. But really, when your characters are themselves caricatures of WWE, I guess you have to expect some lowbrow concepts.
What I love about the show is that the contestants get into the posing and preening for the camera just as much as the gladiators do. The fact that they buy wholeheartedly into the concept without a hint of irony as they lay down on ice baths between events, just makes the show that much more enticing. This week’s episode featured a 52-year-old lady who brought her parents in the audience. She was banged around, flipped off the pyramid like a rag doll, and continued to fight through to the end (I won’t spoil the outcome for you. You can watch the episode online if you really care.)
As much as I hate the fact that some of the events are teased during the episode but you have to go online to watch the full clip, I think the producers do a good job of picking the most gripping events. Watching contestant Tim dodge flying gladiators to dunk 5 balls during Sideswipe was pure edge-of-your-seat theater. And fortunately, the producers didn’t mess much with the formula for the Eliminator, the final challenge for the contestants to prove their mettle.
Still, I really can’t watch a full episode. It’s wholly better in small chunks. I have to mute the TV whenever Hulk Hogan comes on. He’s like the Carson Kressley of wrestling, animated and annoying with inexplicable career longevity. And the ref is a mess. The only event the guy would stand a chance in is Joust because he could just stand there like a statue until time ran out.
But if I time it just right, I can flip on the channel just in time to catch the events. That’s where American Gladiators has me hooked. Contestants, ready? Gladiators, ready? I’m ready too. Bring it.
Jul 05
AndrewBusiness, Television Las Vegas
The Las Vegas Hilton has announced the end date for Star Trek: The Experience on September 1. The attraction, located inside the Las Vegas Hilton property, included a lounge, a show and a fairly extensive museum dedicated to all things Star Trek. Quark’s Bar and Grill featured Trek-themed drinks like Romulan Ale and wings smothered in Vulcan hot sauce. Your server might very well be Klingon.
The original show The Klingon Encounter beams visitors on to the bridge of the Enterprise-D and puts them square in the middle of a firefight between the Enterprise and a rogue Klingon commander.
The second show Borg Invasion 4-D was added in 2004. The visitors experience being assimilated into the Borg Collective. The show features a timely rescue by Captain Janeway.
Though the shows are considered the pinnacle of the experience, the museum is easily the best part of the experience. The museum takes visitors through a detailed timeline of Star Trek history and includes film clips and costume displays for all the alien races of Star Trek lore.
The Official Star Trek Convention will held at the Las Vegas Hilton August 6-10, perhaps giving fans one last chance to embrace the experience. Star Trek: The Experience has been in operation since 1998.
Aug 30
JeremyTelevision dating, Gender roles
Having just watched an episode of Lifetime’s Gay, Straight or Taken?, I have come to the conclusion that very few humans pay attention to each other closely enough to derive any useful information from their interactions. If you have not watched this delightful bit of trashy television, the basic premise involves a woman trying to choose among three men to win a little romance and a dream vacation.
The twist? One of the gentlemen vying for her affections is gay and another is straight, but already in a relationship. If she picks either of these two, he and his significant other get the trip. Not apprised of the twist ahead of time, two strangers phone in the early minutes of the show to inform her. Through a series of one on one activities with each of the men, apparently designed to show of the macho man or the feminine spirit, she collects information to make her final decision. To keep us entertained, we get running commentary on which man she thinks falls into which category.
Okay, intellectual fare this is not. On the scale of good taste, it probably rates a little bit better than a FOX show. But the choices of the women who participate demonstrate a lot about human behavior and how stereotypes become ingrained in us. Very few of the woman are able to accurately identify the leanings of each man, though a lucky handful do manage to spot the single one (and win the trip with him at her side.) Of course, I watch the show to see if I can do a better job making my selections than she can. I don’t keep track formally, but I’m pretty darn sure that my record is good--or at least better than the contestants! I spot the gay guy nearly all of the time (while she usually falls for a red herring) and sort out the available and taken straight guys more often than she does.
A lot of it has to do with body language and erroneous assumptions that the participants make. Here’s a tip girls: if he’s gay, he’s probably NOT afraid to touch you. There’s simply nothing intimidating about it because he’s not going to get turned on and experience physical embarrassment. The other frequent mistake is choosing the guy with whom she is able to make some kind of emotional connection in the short hours they are together. Again, since the gay man has no vested interest in her as a woman, she will not be anything more than friend material at best. Hence, he can cut past the BS and get to the genuine person, whereas his straight counterparts are more likely to be worrying about whether or not she likes them. Somehow, though, she frequently confuses his friendly interest with a sincere love connection (or even sexual connection.)
These women also make critical mistakes in identifying the men who are “taken” as well. Most of their decisions in determining whether a man is taken revolve around what he should and should not be comfortable doing with another woman as a man in a relationship. This is a game, though, where the man knows the rules and knows that if he wants to win, he has to put on as good a show as possible. Moreover, his girlfriend also knows the score and has the same stake he does. If a man is worried going into this game that his girlfriend will be jealous of his actions on the show, then he has given up before the opening gambit. This type of relationship security will lead to the same traits discussed above for the gay men. There is also one simple fact: a man in a steady relationship is going to be more practiced (in general terms) at meaningful interaction with the opposite sex. He is better prepared to tell her what she wants to hear and to know which decisions to make. In short, he can play the game.
The female contestants frequently fall back on stereotypes when making their decisions. On just about every episode, one of the men has something about him that stands out as stereotypically gay. He might have been a cheerleader in college or wears fabulous shoes, but on this show, he’s not the gay one. Automatically choosing this contestant as gay demonstrates a sad lack of strategy on the part of our fair heroine. The women fall back on similar stereotypes when choosing the taken man; if he is well-groomed (though not well enough to be taken as gay,) he must have a girlfriend making sure of that. In fact, hairstyle frequently seems to play a big role in the final decision, though last I checked, the National Institutes of Health have not funded a study on the matter.
This show provides an entertaining half hour, and as the person who gets to see the edited copy, rather than the actual hours the contestants spend together, perhaps I have the upper hand. But this program is also a fascinating study into how women make their decisions in the dating game, giving us a glimpse into a world of shallow choices based on stereotypes that puts the traditionally superficial male to shame. A female contestant who achieves total success on the show sees past the trappings and gets to know the men. Most, however, remain woefully misguided, making women look as bad as men (who must clearly lie in order to achieve their aims with women.) Thanks, Lifetime, for teaching us that women and men aren’t so different after all. We all rely on stereotypes, rather than getting to know the real person. Even me — after all, my judgments are simply based on more subtle ones.
Jan 18
AndrewTelevision Smallville, Superman
With the reappearance of Bart Allen on tonight’s episode of Smallville, the superhero scene is getting a little crowded. Capitalizing on six successful seasons, Smallville is expanding the DC franchise by bringing Bart Allen (played by Kyle Gallner) and other heroes to join Clark Kent (Tom Welling). This season also saw Green Arrow (Justin Hartley) in a recurring role.
Green Arrow is the catalyst behind forming the Justice League. He is pushing Clark to join the group, and has already recruited Cyborg (Lee Thompson Young), Aquaman (Alan Ritchson) and apparently, Bart Allen, given the code name Impulse in tonight’s episode.
Martian Manhunter (Phil Morris) is probably a lock to join when he returns to the show next week.
Jan 08
AndrewTelevision NBC, The Apprentice
The Apprentice LA season premiere on NBC found 9.1 million viewers in its timeslot. That figure is 600,000 viewers less than the season five premiere eleven months ago, and the smallest debut for any of season of The Apprentice. The series relocated to Los Angeles in order to spark some interest, and has the candidates living in tents instead of a posh high-rise. Last night’s broadcast came in third for its timeslot.
This season, The Apprentice will go head to head against ABC’s Desperate Housewives.
Ratings are reported by Nielsen Media Research.
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