Dec 03
SquidWhy Starbucks Sucks Coffee
Starbucks is now offering “clover coffee.” From what I can tell, because they no longer brew different blends on a daily rotation, they brew small batches of their different blends to order -- kind of what they used to do with the french press, but now with a different machine. A friend and I went down to Starbucks a few days ago for a mid-afternoon coffee. I generally don’t ask anyone in the office if they’d like me to bring back anything, because frankly, it ruins my chance to leave my windowless office and take a leisurely stroll when I have to balance three different cups on my arm while walking down Brattle Street. But, my friend decided to make the rounds, announce that we were heading to Starbucks, and was asked to bring back a clover coffee. After waiting in a 10 minute line (without the barista offering to start drinks for those waiting), my friend ordered herself latte and a clover coffee for our co-worker. Apparently, neither our co-worker nor my friend realized that clover comes in different blends, as clover itself is not a flavor, so my very loud friend shouted over to me, as I’m at the bar, “Hey! I don’t understand this! What is this? Are there different flavors? Help me!” Now, I wasn’t too excited that this person had tagged along on my midday walk in the first place because she’s really loud and I’m usually too tired to listen to her, and I really didn’t feel like going back to the register to explain the process to her, but the cashier was just standing there, not offering to explain the process, blends, or anything else.
I made my way over to the clover station and told my friend to get any blend. If our co-worker didn’t know clover came in assorted varieties, then she wouldn’t be picky. Apparently, it takes about 5 minutes to make a clover coffee, during which time my friend decided to chat up the barista. In their conversation, which I was not involved in because I would rather just let the poor girl do her job, my friend asked the barista if she liked working at Starbucks. I see this particular barista at least once a day. She never smiles, she never makes eye contact, and she generally looks miserable, so I wasn’t surprised when she answered with a VERY unprofessional “I hate my job… I wish I could quit.” Um, wow. Really? I will go out on a limb and say that none of us absolutely love our jobs. I hate my job most of the time -- but when a student asks how I like working at the university, I reply, “It is really interesting and I’m fortunate to work with such great faculty,” because my response, while ambiguous and not ridiculously positive, is at least professional. After spending 20 minutes in the tiniest Starbucks ever, my friend and I ventured back out into the cold. We made our way through the cloud of smoke on the sidewalk released by Shift Supervisor’s Newport Light, and delivered the damn clover coffee.
Nov 19
SquidWhy Starbucks Sucks Coffee, Starbucks
I’m a Starbucks loyalist. Recently, however, I’ve come to absolutely loathe the place. For the last few years their customer service and the quality of their drinks have been rapidly going downhill. I took for granted the days when you could only find a Starbucks in the city, when your Barista was a scene kid who reminded you of Ethan Hawke circa his Reality Bites days, when the drinks were made well, and when the pastry case wasn’t full of what seem to be plasticized breakfast sandwiches. But, alas, the Starbucks Empire has expanded too quickly. In their efforts to appeal to the masses instead of the java elite, they’ve quickly turned off their devotees. Former Starbucks loyalists now prefer local coffee shops or, if they’re lucky enough to have one on their daily route, a Peet’s.
I pass six coffee shops and two convenience stores on my way to work in the morning (2.2 miles and 10 minutes, according to Google Maps) -- two Dunkin’ Donuts, two Starbucks, a Peet’s, a local café, a 7-11 and an independent market. Yet, despite my recent revelation that Starbucks sucks, I risk a potential nervous breakdown and head to Starbucks on my way into the office every single day (and, admittedly, sometimes once in the afternoon). Unlike many Starbucks haters, I don’t necessarily care how corporate they’ve become since the early Seattle days- I’m not about sticking it to the man, man. But, in a semi-related mentality, I think Starbucks sucks primarily as a result of their opening a gazillion stores over the last few years, and the resulting necessity to hire every Tom, Dick and Harry who wants health insurance after a 20 hour work week. I simply do not have patience for people who aren’t professional, who aren’t competent, and who don’t take their job seriously- even if you’re only making lattes. Those three things lead to a dirty store, a long wait, a crappy $5 drink, and in my case, a high level of anxiety before 8am.
I was a Starbucks barista. I know the rules, the standards, the expectations, and the recipes, and I know that it is up to the Baristas to make sure the aforementioned are carried out. Why aren’t they, then, you ask? Have Baristas forgotten what is expected of them? Are Baristas not properly trained? Nope. There is quite a lengthy training process one must endure to be handed the green apron that is bestowed upon a Starbucks Barista. There are workbooks, workshops, coffee tastings, tests — I think I worked there for three months before I was allowed to actually touch the coffee. A Barista is so brainwashed by the end of the training process that it is impossible for one to forget to make eye contact with a customer whilst taking an order, to smile at someone approaching the bar, to mark a cup properly, to steam milk to the appropriate temperature, to call drinks instead of just shoving them on a counter, and to say “have a great day!” when a customer leaves. Perhaps if I hadn’t donned the green apron I wouldn’t be so bothered by the decline of the modern Barista. But even so, my recent metro-Boston experiences are definitely less enjoyable than they were ten years ago in greater New Haven.
…And despite this rant, I am actually going to head out to Starbucks right now, because all of this talk has given me a craving for a triple grande skinny vanilla latte.
RSS
