Mar 07
AndrewMovies Comic Book Adaptation, Films, Movies
Maybe the big joke about Watchmen is how completely devoid of humanity the film itself is. Leaving the theater, it might be something worth pondering, or if you’re like me, you might inclined just to forget the whole thing ever happened.
I am a huge fan of well-told comic book adaptations, and I will credit director Zac Snyder and writers David Hayter and Alex Tse for having a thorough and unrelenting vision when it comes to Watchmen. The problem is, it is so saturated with intent, there is nothing really fun about it. The film is improbable in a way that defies the historical context within which it rests. The Watchmen are a group of retired, strung out superheroes shutdown by Nixon (apparently in his fifth term in office) who come out of hiding when it appears that someone is trying to kill them off one by one.
Except the truth is murkier than that. And by the time it comes to light that there is, in fact, no serial superhero killer, you don’t really care. By then you have sat through origin stories of all the principal characters and watched an almost three-hour morality play unfold that makes Gibson’s Passion a bit tepid after all. But that’s the joke really, Watchmen is brutally unpleasant to watch. The historical backdrop and cameo appearances by legendary figures (Lee Iacocca takes bullet in the film) serve as distractions and not in a good way. The main characters are street fighters, picking fights with the scourge of the earth and suffering almost without injury through battle after battle (though fortunately they can beat up on each other and do some damage). The film’s questionable moral center is less food for thought and more just a reason to turn away.
I was most distracted by the use of both film and superhero cliches. The ejaculation of fire when two characters climax during sex seems more like a fanboy’s fantasy of superheroes having sex than the real thing. And how come the heroes never seem to get hurt? None of them, except the atomic man Dr. Manhattan (played by Billy Crudup, whose blue penis needs its own film, honestly, more penis or less, please) seemingly have actual super powers. Yet they punch, kick, body slam and fire bomb their way through scores of villains and rarely take any damage themselves, armed as they all are with lightning quick reflexes, super(man)-strength and Mortal Kombat fighting skills. Even the film’s (in my opinion unnecessary) American-centric narrative perspective seemed to just emphasize how incongruous the whole story was.
Visually, the film is stunning. It’s gorgeous in the fashion of 300 and Sin City. And Snyder wisely moves the camera away once in a while instead of forcing us to watch one brutal retribution scene after another. Atomic explosions, hand saws, broken fingers, and scalding hot oil are just some of the treats on the Watchmen menu, dished out by our supposed heroes. The characters are well-developed, to the point that film’s most violent, unforgiving hero Rorschach (played brilliantly by Jackie Earle Haley who gets the best lines to boot) becomes its only heartbeat.
I have heard from fans that Snyder managed a laudable adaptation of the Watchmen graphic novel by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons. Having not read it, I was able to watch Watchmen with fresh eyes. There is no question that the film is a deliberate, thoughtful story. But it is also completely soulless and vaguely threatening, and not even a little fun at that.
Dec 18
AndrewMovies Movies, Superhero
Question: What’s the worst super hero movie adaptation of all time?
Answer: Yeah, it’s the Punisher. Not even the Dolph Lundgren version, which at least had some redemption value for its high camp and 80′s veneer. No, the worse offender was the Thomas Jane recast which was so unbelievably bad that we were laughing our way through it.
Maybe it’s because Punisher isn’t really a super hero (being a self-righteous marginal type that he is). Nothing in the movie worked, from the opening “origin” sequence where Frank Castle’s entire lineage in wiped out in about 20 seconds to shooting, the secret identity he takes on and lives in an apartment building with curious folk. It’s all turgid. I haven’t seen War Journal, but word on the street is they went for graphic violence in order to make the character palatable. Hopefully, Marvel will finally bury this franchise for good.
That said, when a super hero movie goes bad, it’s bad. Exhibit A: Elektra. Why take someone like Jennifer Garner and make her soulless and flat? Then fold in an almost completely non-existent plot (“back from the dead” isn’t much to work with, folks, though I guess Whedon milked it for half a season) and silly action ninja sequences that wouldn’t sully Kung Fu Hustle. The movie was so bland in every aspect, it’s not worth the effort to crown it the worst ever.
Exhibit B: Ghost Rider. An intricate plot that really just wasn’t interesting, casting Nicholas Cage in the role of the adult Johnny Blaze when they could have just stuck with Matt Long and the movie would have been at least as interesting, and a completely unexplained appearance by Carter Slade was just too much. Some nifty visuals and a wicked Blackheart played by Wes Bentley kept this movie from being the worst.
Oct 07
AndrewMovies Matt Damon, Movies
The Boston scenes in The Departed were greeted with enthusiastic hooting, even for a small half-filled theater in Harvard Square at the early show on Saturday morning. For reasons best understood by locals, the 15 second scene on the redline subway evoked raucous cheers.
So did the shooting. And there was plenty of it for the crowd to cheer and gasp.
I went to see The Departed with little information beyond a thirty-second teaser I saw on television, and the knowledge that the story was loosely based on famed Boston mobster Whitey Bolger. But it starred Matt Damon, always good for a meaty South Boston role, and Jack Nicholson who is simply always good. Few movies intrigue me enough to drag me to the theater, and judging from the previews, not much is going to change that in the next few months. But The Departed not only convinced me to go, but it delivered an engaging, swiftly moving tale of cop corruption.
The story revolves around two new cops (“staties” as they are referred to) each of whom plays a central role as sidekicks to mob boss Costello (Nicholson). Sullivan (Damon) works his way up the ranks of the police department, and Costigan (played by Leonardo DiCaprio), who worms his way as one of Costello’s trusted hitmen. Both are cops, and both are working for the other side.
This movie tells you that right up front, so there is no mystery about whom to trust, only when are they both going to get caught. Because it is fairly evident right away that the thrust of the movie is how both cops balance their dual roles. Sullivan is charged with catching Costello in the act, all the while providing him the police department’s every move in the investigation. Costigan is placed in Costello’s organization by the undercover division of the same law enforcement agency.
As we watch both men’s experiences, the movie craftily lulls us into the belief that this story is mostly about Costello. But the truth is, the conflict is really between the two cops, and the story is a parable about the inherent dishonesty of the human condition. But don’t worry, the director only shoves the moral down your throat once, and the movie is completely over by then.
If I had any complaint, it would the way the movie wraps up as if the director knows he has simply run out of time. He spent so much of the film’s two hours in a delicious cat and mouse morality game, the ending almost seems stunted. The movie screams for some closure, but once the guns stop firing, the credits just roll abruptly. We do not really get a sense if our two cops, or any of the officers in the film, felt their lives were well spent. Was it worth it? For them, the question goes unanswered. For me, The Departed was, indeed, time well spent.
Oct 03
AndrewMovies Movies, Uncanny X-Men, Wolverine, X-Men
To celebrate the DVD release of X-Men 3 -- The Last Stand, the commercials have touted 3 alternate endings as the prime bonus features. A special deluxe version of the DVD comes with a comic book written specially for the DVD release.
The alternate endings are little more than deleted scenes that could have been tacked on to the end of the movie, had there not already been three scenes that appeared in the theatrical version to set the stage for a sequel. In fact, I’m convinced that the reason the 3 alternate endings weren’t included was because they did not foreshadow X-Men 4. Well, that, and the scenes sucked.
The bonus features pretty much sucked all around. Aside from director’s commentary, which is pretty much like death by voiceover, we had a thirty second black and white promo for the Simpsons movie, and deleted scenes.
Deleted scenes, by their very nature, suck. The best directors know what to cut and what to keep in the editing room, and some directors even manage to keep the crap off of the DVD, instead of lumping in every frame into the category of ‘bonus features.’
The deleted scenes, at the very least, show that the director, Brett Ratner, made some very good decisions during the editing process. He rightfully cut some of the worst mental dialogue I have ever heard “uttered” (a psychic conversation between Xavier and Jean Grey.) He also filmed several scenes twice, with different dialogue each version, and in my opinion, probably chose the better of the two every time.
The 3 alternate endings were less than 30 seconds apiece. We can choose from Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters opening for another school year (apparently Bobby went from pupil to teacher’s aide over the summer…) Or Rogue returning to campus with powers. Or Logan returning home to Alberta, Canada. Why? Right. Why.
Fortunately the movie itself more than makes up for the seriously wasteful special features. To really enjoy The Last Stand, you have forget anything you might have ever read about X-Men continuity, and just take in the reality that previous director Bryan Singer skillfully developed and Ratner had enough brains not to completely destroy. The action sequences are breathtaking (although I personally thought upending the Golden Gate Bridge was overhyped.) And for the first time in the trilogy, the action scenes rocked you. They were imaginative and damn cool to watch.
For the X-faithful, the plot has some serious holes. From the woefully underdeveloped storyline between Angel (Ben Watson) and his father, to the short-shrift they gave to Iceman’s relationship to Rogue, most of the characters’ lives seem to take place off screen. Jean’s suppressed dual personality was a lame invention, and then having established she was Queen Wacko, they had her stand around the entire movie looking bored. Aside from boiling pots of water and floating furniture around the room, her main calling in the movie seemed to be disintegrating the people closest to her.
By far the movie’s worst offense was the death of Cyclops early in the movie, which was left purposefully ambiguous for the better part of the first hour. This choice killed any emotional punch that hardcore fans could reasonably have experienced. Then by the time it was addressed within the context of the story, it was overshadowed by the death of Professor Xavier. And all the while, you are scratching your head, thinking, Did they really just kill off some of the most important characters in X-Men mythology?
The doubts linger through most of the movie, despite some truly spectacular action sequences. My favorites, truthfully, involved some of the newly introduced mutants. I’m not even sure the Juggernaut qualifies as a mutant, but watching him and Kitty Pryde race through Alcatraz to find Leech just really thrilled me. And the danger room fight against a sentinel was awesome, no matter how brief.
In all, I give the movie good marks. If entertainment and action are the name of the mutant game, it delivers. I give the DVD release a big pfff. Even Homer couldn’t redeem this one…
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